


Before You Go

by TheNameIsErronBlack



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-05-10 09:46:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14734637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNameIsErronBlack/pseuds/TheNameIsErronBlack
Summary: Merula Snyde begins tutoring the object of her affection.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [/hppg/](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=%2Fhppg%2F).



“Why are you looking at me?”

The query was met with a scowl from the Slytherin girl.

“Looking at _you?_ ” She asked, dumbfounded. “Even if we accept your ridiculous premise, how would you know I’m looking at you unless you were looking at me?”

Anyone with operable eyeballs and the capacity to recognize patterns would know that she had been taking furtive glances at him ever since class started. She was remarkably adept in the magic arts, but her attempt at subterfuge was executed with all the grace and subtlety of a herd of stampeding trolls.

“How are you making out with the assignment?” He changed the subject. Merula would deny the accusation under threat of death.

Yet again, he immediately regretted asking as soon as the words left his mouth; any inquiry that even vaguely questioned her ability as a witch would incur her vitriolic wrath.

“I can certainly handle a potion like this, and I don’t need someone as stupid as you leering over me all the time.”

He leaned over slightly to get a better look at their current project, failing to notice her reflexively leaning away from him. Professor Snape had given them a fairly straight-forward assignment: a love potion designed to resemble a smell appealing to the target. Not exactly something that would strain either of their intellects, but it, as with all things under the scrutiny of Professor Snape, required a certain degree of focus and precision, which is why he felt like a brick had been placed in his stomach: the potion was a light blue, not dark blue.

“It’s light blue,” He observed. “It’s not supposed to be light blue, it’s supposed to dark blue. It would only be light blue if you used three lizard tails instead of two!” He was whispering to avoid the wrath of their professor.

Merula’s cheeks partially inflamed because of the brief tirade and her partner’s uncomfortably close proximity to her face. “I know that! I’m still working on it, and I can’t fix it if I have an ogre breathing down my neck every secon-”

The attempt at reconciliation was cut short by the sudden but not entirely unexpected arrival of Snape. “Is there a problem?” His dull monotone asked.

“No, Professor.” He opted to take the lead, seeing as Merula was still obviously flustered.

Snape considered the two and their potion for several agonizing moments. “I partnered the two of you together because you’ve both proven to be competent students. Do not make me question my judgment.”

Despite all the tedious obstacles, Merula managed to correct the minor mistake and complete the project on time and according to Snape’s standards; he even deigned to call their work ‘adequate’.

* * *

 

It had been a fairly uneventful day. She once again gave an exemplary performance and left her partner after making one final snarky dig at his intelligence and lack of social skills. So far, so standard, but something happened towards the end of class that deeply troubled the witch and stayed with her even after she laid herself down in the Slytherin Commons for a well-deserved night of rest. Tossing and turning, she remained in bed, unable to keep the knowledge down.

The love potion smelled like him.

Initially, she hoped she was simply mistaken or completely losing it. In the name of research, once she was certain no one could discover her, she remade the potion as before. There was absolutely no denying it: it smelled exactly like him. Not that she spent a great deal of time smelling him or thinking about him, or whatever, but it was disconcerting for a variety of reasons.

The first prospect, and the one she could easily dismissed, was that she carried some sort of affection for the boy. A patently insane notion. She’d sooner crawl through a mile of broken glass than ever concede to feeling anything but dispassionate loathing for that oaf.

The second and far more likely idea was that he discreetly utilized some incantation to make her subconscious mind find him appealing, yet another slight against her. That would obviously necessitate retaliation, which she was more than happy to deliver. Ever since she arrived at Hogwarts, he had been a constant thorn under her finger nail she simply couldn’t shake. All the duels, all the sarcastic quips, just the thought of him drove her up a wall.

And yet, he persistently found his way into her mind at seemingly random intervals, like a storm cloud.

Perhaps there was nothing wrong with admitting that he possessed some positive qualities, fleeting as they were. Despite her repeated cracks about his lack of a brain, he was more than capable as a wizard and a reliable partner in academic endeavors. He was a generally amicable person, certainly well-liked among the preening air-heads in his social circle.

And, worst of all, he was objectively good-looking. She felt like punching herself in the stomach for even thinking it, but she’d have to be completely senseless to not notice his symmetrical face, dashing eyes, and infectious grin. She hadn’t done a lot of research into that sort of thing, but he seemed to match up with what could be called ‘attractive’. Objectively, of course.

Regardless, he once again did something to flummox her. Unable to tolerate anymore of his prattle, she vowed to bring him down, once and for all. This was nothing as meager and childish as vengeance, this would be destruction on an unprecedented scale. Nothing short of his complete and utter degradation would satisfy her. And when Merula Snyde set her mind to a task, no force on Earth would be able stop her.

* * *

 

It may not have seemed that way to outsiders, but Merula could be extremely patient when she truly felt it was needed. If she was going to truly destroy that pretty boy in the most extreme sense of the word, there would have to be witnesses. To that end, she decided to strike on a weekend when he, certain as a sunrise, could be found in one of Hogwarts’ many great halls. The entire student body would see her ultimate triumph. He would probably have to abandon the school for the sake of his reputation.

As her dimwitted peers bustled about, Merula waded through the proverbial soup bowl to her target. He was roaming the halls with a vague look of purpose on his face. Before he could leave her line of sight, she intercepted him with a bump on the shoulder as she passed him.

“Hey!” She almost shouted.

His face almost seemed to brighten upon seeing her. “Merula, I was looking for you.”

Merula reached into her robe for her wand, preparing to strike at a moment’s notice. “You’re gonna regret that, because I was also looking for you.”

The slight smirk of his that drove her up a wall didn’t falter despite the obvious hostility. “I was wondering if you wanted to study with me.”

As if on cue, Merula’s brain went blank. Attempting to think was like trying to decipher some ancient scroll while severely inebriated, and her desire for vengeance dissipated. She stood before him, utterly dumbfounded, mouth partially agape. Did he just ask if she wanted to study with her? As in...the two of them? Together? Sitting across from one another for an extended period of time? Or sitting next to each other? Certainly, this had to be some sort of deception, and there was absolutely no way this loser would be able to get one over on her.

“What do you mean?” She asked with far less intensity than earlier.

He still had that damn smirk on his face. “I could use some help studying for Defense against the Dark Arts, and the professor says you’re the best student in the class. I figured we could study for a few hours, unless you don’t want to.” His smile wavered slightly when he concluded.

“I...” She had quite a bit to consider. On the one hand, she obviously didn’t want him to fail the course and risk his further attending Hogwarts, but since when did he have trouble with _any_ class? She joked about it, to be sure, but there was no denying he had exceptional grades, and almost all of their professors positively adored him

“Fine, I’ll help you,” She at last said, not wanting the painfully awkward silence to continue any further. “But don’t think that I’m doing this because I like you, or anything ridiculous like that,” Merula added, sticking her index finger in his face as his smile grew wider. “I’m helping you to prove that I am the superior wizard and that you’re completely hopeless without me.”

He was practically beaming at her acceptance. “Alright. Let’s go.”

* * *

 

Given that they weren’t in close proximity to a midterm and it was the day most students were free to do as they wished, the library was largely abandoned, save for the professor watching over it and the occasional student buried deep in a book. Merula firmly declared they would take a table far away from prying eyes, adjacent to a window with a picturesque view of the surrounding landscape; if any of his friends saw them together, she would never hear the end of it. It didn’t take much effort for her to carefully assemble her notes.

“Look at you,” She said, examining the scattershot mess across the table. “It’s a damn mess! But I can’t worry about that now; you need my help or you’re gonna fail Defense against the Dark Arts. I’ll start you off with an easy one: give me the most basic defense spell you can think of.”

He propped up his head on his fist and contemplated the thought for a moment. “Periculum?” It was more of a question than a statement of fact.

“Periculum!” What was wrong with him? Did his brain vanish into the ether when she wasn’t looking? Where had all the quick and decisive decision making gone? The boy she considered her greatest foe didn’t even know the most basic defense spell! What if he got in a fight with some psychotic miscreant?

“Alright, I have a lot to do, but I refuse to let you fail under my watch.” 

* * *

 

Merula was pleased to see that, despite the deep, cavernous hole she found herself in from the outset, her subject had proven to be an attentive listener and a considerate student; so much so, in fact, that she  predicted he would easily pass any test or exam the professor could hypothetically throw at them. It was a remarkable transition, not that she would inform him of such, or anything.

“Well, I suppose that’s all we’ve covered for now,” She said, piling her notes together. “I think you’ll pass the class. Barely, but you’ll pass.”

“Well, I appreciate your help,” He responded. “You’re a very good teacher, and I’m very happy we spent so much time together.”

Even though she knew it was another one of his obvious attempts to fluster her, she felt her cheeks heat up. “We did not,” She caught herself after a cursory glance outside revealed their study session must’ve eclipsed several hours; the land was cloaked in darkness and the library was almost abandoned. Were Merula to guess, she would’ve been certain they’d only been there for an hour. “Just be grateful I was kind enough to help you. If you tell any of your stupid friends about this, I’ll jinx you so hard that your...” She was far too disturbed by her present predicament to find the right acerbic insult. What was happening to her?

He could only smile at her anxiety. “I promise I won’t, and I’ll see you around,” With that, he turned around and began to make his way out of the library before turning around a few seconds later. “Say, do you think you could help study for the upcoming potions test? Snape’s tests are always ridiculously difficult.”

That hopeful little grin of his whenever he asked her something made her like her knees were turned into jelly, but she held her ground. 

“What are you talking about? The test is in three days, and Snape says your the second best student in the entire class!” She said, although she immediately regretted almost letting another opportunity slip away. “Fine, fine, we can do this again, just don’t get ideas. We’re not dating, or anything like that, loser.” 

The little hopeful grin instantly matured. “Great. I’ll see you around.” He turned and walked away at a faster pace. Merula waited until she was surely far away before she exited the library; she didn’t want him to see the face wide smile that adorned her face from that point until she was sound asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Even those in her immediate proximity noticed Merula was in an unusually good mood the following morning. Whenever she was in a visibly positive spirit, it was typically a result of her academic success or her triumphing over her rival, but today, not that she would even consider telling anyone this, she was excited to see him again. Not necessarily because she was going to be talking and spending time with him for, hopefully, several hours, that was the difficult part, but because she would get yet another opportunity to cement her superiority over him. Come to think of it, whenever she was out and about handling her daily business and she just so happened to envision spending an extended period of time alone with him, she would feel her cheeks flush and a garrison of butterflies would suddenly take over her stomach. (She spent a good portion of their time together hiding her blushing face from his scrutiny, anyway) Most curious of all, the words “study-date” repeatedly jumped to the forefront of her brain in bright green, neon letters. Any rational observer knew it was most certainly not a date, and that she didn’t even consider him remotely date-able. Regardless, she made sure to wait until around the time they spoke the other day until she went to the hall; Merula didn’t want to give the impression she was actually looking forward to their study-date or anything like that, although she did enjoy sneaking up on him.

“Hey, geek,” She tapped him on the shoulder with her index finger. “Ready to go?”

He turned around to face her, brandishing his usual sweet smile. “Hey, Merula!” She looked him over. “Yes, I am ready to go.”

In favor of Hogwarts’ robes, he had on casual clothing. She had to admit it, he didn’t look half-bad. The baggy robes served him far better and gave Merula a better outline of his toned frame.

“Well, look at you, all dressed up,” She cocked an eyebrow at him. “Who are you all dressed up for, big guy?”

“For you.” He casually replied.

Once again, she grimaced and felt her face turn beat red. Every time she felt like giving him a compliment, he did something to make her regret her benevolence.

“For...for me?” She asked for no reason in particular. “Well, you look really stupid. That’s not what I would wear, but if it’s what you want to wear, I’m not gonna stop you.”

* * *

 

Unfortunately for Merula, she felt their brief time together would soon come to a close, as her partner was clearly well-acclimated with the material for their potions class. She genuinely wondered why on Earth he solicited her assistance in studying if he was already so prepared for the exam, not that she would object to helping him.

“I mean, that’s everything I have,” She dispassionately noted as she preemptively put her things away. “No reason to stay here.”

He looked similarly disappointed. Merula wanted desperately to believe he was using these study-sessions as an excuse to see her, and that added some minor credence to that hope. “I have an idea,” Just like that, he brightened up. “Wanna come to Hogsmeade with me?”

As was so often the case, Merula found herself stymied by the object of her desire. She sat ramrod stiff in her chair, her tongue felt like it was a resident of the basement of Threave Castle, and any attempt at coherent thought was impossible because he just asked her to spend time with him at Hogsmeade. With her heart threatening to tear itself from her chest in the name of self-preservation, she at last spoke:

“I...I can’t. I...uh, already have plans.”

Anyone even tangentially familiar with Merula would know that was a lie. As expected, he looked genuinely surprised by her answer, his eyes were wide and his mouth was partially agape. Perhaps for the first time ever, she felt genuinely upset for spurring him.

“Some of the Sltyherin girls and I were going to-” She began

“Don’t worry about it,” He interrupted her. “I’m glad to hear you’re doing stuff with them.”

Of course, he had to go and make it even harder by being his charming, sweet self.

“Because I’m not going to just hang out with you like that,” She hastily attempted to salvage what remained of their relationship. “You’re not getting a date with me so easily.” She threw her hands over her mouth out of sheer terror. Less a slip of the tongue and more a descent into a deep, dark hole full of sharp objects. He was greatly pleased to hear it.

“Alright then,” He knowingly said. “What do I have to do in order to get a-”

“Don’t say it!” She reflexively shouted, earning her a few glares from nearby students. “I’ll only consider going to Hogsmeade with you if you do well on the Potions test.” Merula whispered.

That smug oaf was grinning like the chesire cat of archetype. “What constitutes doing well?”

“I’ll decide on that.” Merula said before whipping around and departing as fast as her feet would allow.

* * *

 

“Once again, these two demonstrate what can be achieved with even a modicum of effort,” Snape intoned to the class as he returned their exams. “You could all learn something from them.”

As she predicted, Merula and her partner got the highest marks in the class. She used her peripheral vision to try and determine how well he did. On the one hand, he wanted him to succeed so he could stay at Hogwarts and so she’d have a legitimate excuse to accept his offer to go out to Hogsmeade, but she didn’t want him to usurp her as the top student in the school.

“Does this constitute doing well?” The fool slid the parchment over as the rest of the class scurried away in defeat. Unsurprising as a sunrise, she bested him by a tissue-thin margin.

“I suppose it could be called that, yes,” She handed him her exam. “You still couldn’t beat me, but I’ll let you pay for our trip to compensate.” Protocol dictated the guy was supposed to pay for the date, and she didn’t want to pay regardless.

He shrugged. “It’s a collective bill, so I’ll pay your share.”

Her eyes popped open at the statement. “W-what do you mean?”

“Oh,” He looked similarly struck. “Uh, I didn’t think you would accept if it was just us, so I figured you could come along with a bunch of people, so it’s gonna be me, you, Rowan, Ben, and Penny.”

Merula considered the proposition for a moment, a vague sense of disappointment slowly germinating in her stomach. Not that she disliked the idea of spending time with friends, but she also spent the past few days thinking about almost nothing but the prospect of being in a casual setting with her crush. He made no indication that he actually wanted to go on a...date, but she concluded he was, for whatever reason, too shy to ask her outright. Perhaps her judgment was flawed in some respect.

“Uh...sounds great,” It was a genuine compliment, as she was excited by the idea that the rest of them accepted her presence, not that she would ever tell him that, or anything. “Loser.”

He gave her a tiny, shy smile at her acceptance. “Great. Let me grab by jacket and we’ll meet them there.”

* * *

 

Just before the two reached their destination, Merula noticed through a window in the Great Hall that a noticeable amount of snow began to descend from on high. It was far from a precipitous downpour, but it was enough to make Merula grateful she brought with her a jacket and pair of gloves. Before they made the exit onto the grounds proper, she noted that her companion didn’t have or simply forgot to bring his.

“Why aren’t you wearing gloves?” She asked. “Have you taken a look outside in the past fifteen minutes?”

He briefly examined his hands. “Oh,” He noted. “Whoops.”

Merula gave a hefty sigh of resignation. “I’m going to despise this far more than you will, I promise.” She said as she delicately took his hand with hers. There was no skin contact, so it was just like when she was carefully holding something disgusting in one of her classes.

“Your hand is very warm.” He remarked, gently squeezing her in response.

“We can walk together like this, but don’t get any ideas. I just don’t want your hand to freeze off or something, that would be gross.”

“If you say so.” He smiled.

* * *

 

His plan had gone...mostly well, he concluded as he laid himself down to rest in his house’s boarding room. It took a moderate deal of convincing and defense of Merula’s finer traits to get the others to accept her joining them at their outing at Hogsmeade, but his faith in her was validated. She was clearly apprehensive about going and spent the majority of her time in silence even after his repeated attempts to bring the Slytherin girl into the conversation. When they were at last forced to depart to their respective houses, she made a final, acerbic comment about how they should all feel honored that she deigned to be seen with them, but was clearly trying to hide her smile. Merula obviously wasn’t one to express her feelings with reckless abandon, but he interpreted that as her saying ‘thanks for inviting me’.

And yet, he couldn’t help but a feel a touch of disappointment when he reviewed the night’s events. It was far from a bad evening, it was actually pretty fantastic by his standards, but there was something about their final exchange in the library that remained with him. Merula seemed to anticipate that he was going to ask her on a date, and was clearly dissatisfied when he revealed it was a group outing.  Not that he was uninterested in the idea of dating her. In fact, he found it pretty appealing. Despite her repeated insistence that they were eternal rivals destined to destroy one another, he liked her quite a bit. She was incredibly intelligent, funny, and clearly wanted a stable group of friends. He really liked her hair, too, even if it was consistently somewhat of a mess; the small patch of light brown was like a sprinkling of cinnamon on something already sweet.

He couldn’t deny he carried something of a flame for the girl, but there was no way he would ever follow through with asking her out. Never, in his most hallucinatory fever dream, would he ever even consider asking Merula out on a date.

There was some evidence suggesting that she enjoyed his company far more than she cared to admit. For one thing, before they became genuine friends, she would constantly peek around corners and suits of armor to get a good look at him. When he pressed her on it, she nervously waved him away and accused him of being obsessed with her greatness, but she very clearly wanted to get to know him. Merula also insisted on partnering up with him in every group project possible. As one of the top students in the school, the professors were happy to oblige despite his meager protests. According to Penny, blushing was also a sign that you liked someone, and Merula’s cheeks lit up so often when they were together it could be easily confused for a Christmas tree.

Whenever hope built up internally, it was always quickly quashed by fear before it could fully mature. It was true that he was far too nervous and fearful of rejection, but he also genuinely appreciated her friendship. If the truth were to pour out like an oil spill, it was possible he would lose her friendship.

After the night, however, he knew there was something between them beyond friendship. He knew he would scrounge together the courage to ask her out, however long it took.


	3. Chapter 3

Today was the day. He wasn’t going to ask Merula out on a date, but he was going to ask her to go to Hogsmeade with him. In most cases, asking a friend to go out to have a few drinks and maybe something to eat didn’t qualify as a momentous occasion, but considering how painfully shy Merula Snyde was and the great barriers she created around herself to keep others at arm’s length, getting through to her was a Herculean effort. By this point, they had been on more than a few study dates, and he found that conversation more easily fell into casual territory on an increasingly frequent basis. It may not have seemed like much, but Merula revealing her preference for Chocolate Frogs and her disdain for Quidditch was a sign that she trusted him with sacred knowledge. (He still couldn’t reconcile that with the fact that she attended every Quidditch game he participated in, but he was happy nonetheless) With insatiable ambition, he went to his usual spot and waited for Merula’s inevitable arrival.

“Hey, idiot,” A disembodied voice spoke from behind him. “Yeah, I’m talking to you. Turn around.”

Sure enough, he found Merula, smiling despite her vitriolic insults. “Hey, Merula.” He couldn’t help but smile like a buffoon. Naturally, she gave him a skeptical look.

“What’s wrong with you? Are you ill, or something?”

That only made him happier. “So, I had an idea.”

“You’re mother must be so proud.”

“How about we skip the studying today and just go straight to Hogsmeade?”

Whatever snarky insult Merula had planned would be betrayed by her increasing adorable but incredulous facial expressions. “If you think I’ve finally beaten the stupid out of you, then yes.”

“I also had another idea.”

“Incredible,” She said. “You were able to circumnavigate a true intellectual quagmire.”

“Are you okay with it just being us today?”

As if waiting for the proper moment, Merula’s eyes went wide and her cheeks flushed. She was so petrified he began to genuinely wonder if she was under some sort of spell rather than simply intensely flustered by his proposition.

“Is everything okay?”

Merula looked at him as if he just got finished delivering a scathing invective meticulously detailing her every last social faux-pas. At last, she began to stammer out a reply.

“You...you mean just the two of us?” She almost squeaked out. “At Hogsmeade? Sitting at a table? T-together?”

At this point, he had known Merula for several years. It took no great leap in logic to deduce that despite her coarse exterior, she was a deeply inhibited girl who struggled to reach out to others, a girl whose painful shyness manifested as haughty superiority, but he had never seen her quite this anxious. In a curious way, it almost made her more endearing; he felt a powerful urge to wrap his arms around her and hold her close to reduce her anxiety.

“Yes,” He responded in the most gentle manner he could marshal. “No pressure, but no one was around today besides you,” That sounded mean. “And because I think it’d be fun if we could just, you know,” He threw his hands up to accentuate the point. “Hang out.” It was posed more so as a question than a definitive statement.

She inhaled deeply “Okay.”

He was practically beaming at her. “Really?"

His infectious joviality seemed to relax her. “Yes, you big dork.”

His goal of thawing the icy, anvil-thick shell surrounding Merula had been progressing nicely ever since she began her tenure as his tutor. She still more than occasionally made an abrupt, inappropriate comment about his lack of brain cells, Penny’s amiable nature or Rowan’s being a coward, but the group had an unspoken agreement that she was a work in progress and to simply take her comments in stride.

That in no way prepared him for their solo venture.

Hogsmeade was ostensibly a place where the student body could abandon the latent anxieties and troubles of their scholastic life, for a brief time, at least. You had access to every dessert or sweet drink known to the wizarding world, but Merula looked positively miserable. Sitting in her chair, her shoulders were hunched over, she outright refused to look at him, and her cheeks were practically painted a bright crimson. His previous desire to hold her only intensified.

“Anything I can get you, Merula?” He asked.

She very clearly wanted to steal a glance at him, but looked away on the precipice of eye contact. “J-just a chocolate frog.”

“Chocolate frogs? You got it.” He stood up to retrieve her order.

“Only one!” She shouted.

He looked back at her. “Only one?”

She took a moment to process what she said. Obviously not wanting to look foolish, she nodded. “Only one.”

* * *

 

“You’re allowed to have more than one, you know.”

Merula seemed to be extra cute today. She was furtively taking bite-sized pieces out of her chocolate frog, obviously trying to stand by her original demand. It was a dessert meant to be eaten in copious amounts, and he’d seen tangible evidence of Merula’s capacity to dine on the succulent treats, not that he didn't empathize with such desires.

“I’m fully aware of what I can and cannot do!”

He took that as her way of asking him to split a larger order with her. Before he could stand, however, a messenger owl swiftly deposited a letter neatly in the center of their table and departed before he could look back at it. The two exchanged confused looks before Merula snatched it away from his outstretched hand and hastily tore it open.

“To a Mister A. Noon,” She read before flinging it vaguely in his direction. “This must be for you. They spelled your last name wrong, and that is amusing.”

In an unfamiliar copperplate was the following inscription:

_Mister A. Noon,_

_For several interminable years now, I’ve admired your radiant beauty the way an astronomer admires the wonders of the night sky; hopelessly but unceasingly attempting to comprehend the magnetic force that shines above all else. To even attempt to put how you make me feel would be a foolhardy endeavor unrivaled in wizard history in terms of self-righteous bravado, and I am eternally grateful you have deigned to hurl a scrap of your attention off of the proverbial table to the serfs such as myself. That having been established, you would propel me to untold heights of happiness if you would do me the privilege of accompanying me to the upcoming Yule Ball. If you agree to these terms, simply make a signal to the girl in your immediate vicinity._

_With all my spirit,_

_Your long-abiding admirer._

Having finished reading the letter, he looked at it as if skeptical of its existence; was he actually holding this declaration of love? Certainly, the misspelling of his last name gave him pause for thought, but he had never seen such unbridled passion in writing! It looked nothing like her handwriting, but who knew Merula possessed such skill in rhetoric and composition?

It was Merula who wrote this message after all, right? It had to be.

He looked over at Merula, trying and failing to catch a glimpse of the letter’s contents. Obviously, that was just a smokescreen. If he knew anything about her, and he liked to think he did, this was her way of expressing her true feelings. Someone as painfully shy as Merula, particularly around him would doubtless manufacture some sort of complex scheme to indirectly express her admiration.

“What, uh,” She quietly asked. “What does it say?”

Again, with her facetious disguise. He smirked at her cleverness. “It’s a...love-note, essentially.”

Her eyebrows almost popped off her frame. “A l-love-note? From who?” She asked. “From w-whom? From whom?”

“It’s from someone who really wants to go to the Yule Ball with...” He made eye contact with her. “Me.”

She was utterly paralyzed by the revelation, so he took the liberty of asking her question. “And, yes, I would very much like to go with her.”

Merula looked around the walls of Hogsmeade, as if some hidden truth could be decoded by staring at them long enough.

“Really? Then why the Hell am I here?” The pervasive nervousness that dominated her violet eyes was replaced by a venomous rage.

“What do you mean? Merula, I want to go to the Yule Ball with y-”

Before he could finish, Merula stood up, pushing her chair away. “That’s just great, rub my face in it some more, why don’t you?” He was completely befuddled by the present development. Why was she so angered by his acceptance of her offer?

“You know what? I’ll see you around. I have more important things to do.” Her eyes began to tear up before she turned her back on him and took off for the door. He could do nothing but look at her walk out.

No longer willing to bring any further emotional pain down on her beleaguered shoulders, he sunk into his chair, defeated. Of course Merula would never willingly admit her feelings for him, especially unless he did so first! What possessed him to make such a rash decision?

Perhaps he’d give her a few days before he attempted to mend their relationship. He concluded he could use some more desserts to try and quell his sham-

“There you are!”

A tall, blonde Hufflepuff girl walked into Hogsmeade shortly after Merula’s departure and took her vacated seat. He knew they were in the same year, as her face was vaguely familiar, but this was their first proper conversation.

“Can I help you?”

“Hi, yeah, this is my letter,” She said, taking back her prized possession. “I’m sorry, I meant to send this to A. N-O-O-N, and you are A. N-E-W-N. I completely apologize for the mixup.”

His mouth opened to try and respond, but he simply couldn’t follow through. He partially hoped the floor would open up and the sweet, chilly embrace of winter would be a sufficient distraction him from his embarrassment.

“Okay. Thank you.”

“You don’t want to go with me to Hogsmeade, right?” She politely inquired.

He looked back at her. “I’m already going with someone.”

* * *

 

At a speed he previously thought unreachable, he sprinted towards Hogwarts Castle on a single minded quest to find Merula and make his affection for her known to the every single organic life form in the entire building. Perhaps it was not the most rational of plans, but he was on a mission, and the threat of losing house points or attending midnight detention of the rest of the semester with Filch or Snape would not deter him. He’d storm into the Slytherin Commons and take on the entire house in a fight to the death, if fate dictated it necessary.

As he ran up a staircase that would eventually lead to the Slyhertin Commons, he was grateful for all the time he spent practicing Quidditch. His heart felt like it was going to tear out of his chest in the name of self-preservation, but he wasn’t completely out of breath by the time his journey was almost concluded.

“Merula Snyde!” He shouted. “Merula Snyde, I need to speak with you right now!”

Before he could take another step, he was stopped by someone taking the back of neck with a steel grip, almost causing him to topple over. “Hey!” Its voice bellowed. He turned around to find Tulip.

“Tulip!” He yelled at her. “Where’s Merula? I need to speak with her right now.”

“I know.”

“Where is she?”

“The Hospital Wing.”

* * *

 

“Miss Merula Snyde wishes very much to speak with you, young man.” Madame Pomfrey’s was far from expedient, but he relaxed ever so slightly upon learning Merula was not in any grave condition. From what he could extrapolate, she’d need a good night’s rest. Not knowing precisely what afflicted her did nothing to mollify the terror of uncertainty, so as soon as Merula’s cot was in his sights, he abandoned all pretenses of courtesy towards Pomfrey and sprinted over to her, delicately taking her hand with his.

“Merula! Are you okay? Please be okay!” He felt more than a modicum of responsibility for putting her here.

“Hey! It’s you! I’ve told her all about you!” She looked over at Pomfrey as if expecting confirmation.

“Yes, she certainly has. Her inhibitions have loosened somewhat, but she’ll be okay.”

He put her hand to his forehead. “I am so sorry, Merula. I am so, so stupid, and so, so sorry.”

“What are you talking about? You’re not stupid! I’m not a liar!”

He certainly didn’t expect that response. “What are you talking about?” He let go of her hand.

She was positively beaming, the same way he’d been looking at her earlier. “I told the nice nurse lady all about you before you came in, silly. I told her all about how I’m so lucky to have you in all my classes, and about how smart you are, and about how you make my heart go ‘ka-boom’ whenever you walk in a room!” She clapped her hands together and brought them apart to simulate an explosion.

Something informed him this wasn’t meant to be a joke. He turned to ask Madame Pomfrey what was happening to her, but she was gone. As he was looking away, Merula leaned up to his ear.

“Do you want to hear a secret?” Her warm breath made him shutter.

He swallowed before responding. “Yes.”

“The secret is…I like you.”


	4. Chapter 4

"I...I don't understand," He suddenly felt his cheeks light up under such intense scrutiny from his delirious patient. "You...like me?"

Merula nodded enthusiastically and her brilliant smile never faltered. "Mmmhmm. Yes I do. I like you, but shhh," She whispered, placing the tip of her pointer finger to his lip to preemptively silence him. "You can't tell anyone, cuz you’re my friend."

His heart rate stopped rocketing into unknown territory, if only for a moment. "Well, I like you, too, Merula. You're a good friend."

That clearly agitated her. "No, you're not listening, stupid," She was beginning to sound like her usual self. "I like you."

Several increasingly uncomfortable beats of silenced passed before Merula clarified the thought. "I want to be your girlfriend, dumb-dumb."

His universe came to an abrupt and startling halt. The world around him continued unabated, but it certainly didn't matter, as Merula Snyde just admitted she wanted to date him. He'd rather die than admit it to anyone, but he fantasized quite a bit about scenarios eerily similar to this one, but with one prominent distinction: he'd be the bold one and she'd be the blushing, nervous fool. He'd find her, and before she could make yet another acidic insult at his expense, he'd plant a firm kiss on that perfect mouth of hers, rendering her utterly speechless and love struck. Instead, he presently felt like his heart was going to tear itself from his chest in the name of self-preservation.

"W-why," He stupidly squeaked out. "Why do you like me?" He had no earthly idea why he asked that.

"Why do I like you?" She seemed slightly confused by the query, as if he just asked her about the color of the sky or some fundamental truth of the universe even infants readily grasped. "I like you because you have a nice face," She was clearly struggling to hold back a fit of the giggles as she revealed the truth. "You have a really, really nice face. I look at it and I feel all tingly in my stomach. And your eyes are very, very pretty. I just get this warm feeling inside whenever you smile at me. And you've got this little thing you do with your mouth when it goes to the side whenever we're together," She poked his lips with her pointer finger again to mold them into a sly grin. He offered no resistance and had nothing to say. He could only stare at her, mouth agape. "It's very cute."

"And I like watching you play Quidditch. I mean, it's super boring, but I like supporting you, and you look really, really good in that uniform. One time, one time!" She nearly leaped out of her bed at him. "I saw you without a shirt on, cuz you were changing, and I got really happy. I felt this really, really warm, burning feeling inside," She said, pressing her hands roughly where her heart was located. "Right in my boobs. Or my chest. Or my heart."

He legitimately wondered if some unseen third party decided to light his cheeks aflame with an incantation. The girl he desired for years just called him hot, several times, no less, but he was in absolute misery.

"But the real reason I like you, other than you being hot, is that you're just sweet," Her enthusiasm dissipated, but the emotive intensity remained. "You're nice, and sweet, and funny, and smart, and you care about me, and I enjoy spending time with you, and you're funny, and I know you don't need me to tutor you, but I'm really happy I get to. And I think I'd be happy more if we were...together," She took on a more solemn tone. "I know that there are tons of girls who would fight Voldemort to be with you...but I think I'd be happy if we were...girlfriend and boyfriend."

Merula allowed her body to fall back into the pillow. He felt a layer of sweat begin to develop on his forehead, still unable to formulate anything even remotely resembling a coherent response to Merula's declaration of affection.

"You don't need to give me an answer," She said, turning over to face him and pulling the blankets over her body. "But...do you think you could stay here for the night?" A bit of her usual shyness returned as she looked at him with her puppy-dog eyes and shy smile. "It's kinda cold in here, and you're very warm, and I'm going to need you to feel better."

He thought for a moment, as if to question whether or not what she just said was part of reality and not some potion-induced hallucination representing his greatest fantasy. He flexed his fingers, bringing his nails to his palms, to confirm that this was indeed real life.

"Okay." He almost whispered.

Merula instantly brightened, pouncing on him with frightening strength and speed for a girl of her stature and current state, pulling him on top of her. Her expression communicated that she was slightly embarrassed but clearly enjoying the two of them like that. He was just grateful nothing sensitive collided on the way down.

"Hi," She timidly said. "Sorry. I didn't mean to pull you that hard." She laughed as she squeezed out from under him, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his with a terrific grip. Once she was comfortable, she nuzzled her face into his chest and sighed contently. If he was hard of hearing, he would swear Merula was purring; she was certainly curled up like a cat next to him and rubbing her face against his body. Having her pressed up against him like this was nice, though, he couldn't deny. It was like hugging a small, squishy radiator that smelled like lilacs and happiness.

"Thank you, Merula. I would very much like to be your boyfriend." He finally said as his heart slowed to a tolerable pace and he began a precipitous descent into the land of dreams.

"You know what a good boyfriend would do?" Merula whispered. "He would stroke his girlfriend's hair and caress her back."

He grinned like an idiot and complied with her demands. Sure, he was terrified her opinion of him was the result of some bizarre concoction gone horribly wrong, and the real Merula would almost certainly murder him for all this, but, for the moment, he gave himself permission to enjoy the blissful feeling of being Merula Snyde's boyfriend.

* * *

A bit of sunlight glared at him through the stain glass window, and he squinted. Unconvinced that last night wasn't some hallucination on his part, he wanted to stretch his arms, but found them impeded by a rather considerable, rather warm weight.

He was still in the hospital wing. In bed. With Merula still curled up like a cat, glommed on to him. He had to admit, she did look rather adorable. She obviously liked to keep people at arm’s length, and was very clearly hiding some personal demons with intense care, so seeing her in such a relaxed state was incredible pleasing, even if she was drooling on him ever so slightly.

At the same time, however, it dawned on him that the longer he stayed here increased the probability that she would relieve him of all extremities. Madam Pomfrey implied Merula’s affliction would wear off by morning, meaning he needed to engineer an escape swiftly or die trying. With infinite care, and not wanting to interrupt such a peaceful rest, he slowly lifted Merula’s arms off of his torso. His wide opening to escape closed as soon as it opened when she made a cranky, sleepy sigh and returned to her original position firmly wrapped around him, her grip even more consuming.

Things went from bad to a whole new phylum of worse when Merula began her return to the land of the living. He was utterly paralyzed as she made an incredibly adorable yawn and looked up at him, blinking.

“You...” She mumbled, her eyes going wide upon reaching the same realization that last night was not a product of imagination. “Y-you!” Merula instantly released him from her steel grip and escaped by turning over to the other side of the bed. Merula was clearly so horrified by the situation that she refused to acknowledge him, even if he was but a few inches away. He dreaded the idea, but the task of mending their relationship fell to him.

“Good morning.” He said.

He looked at the back of Merula’s head, her body remote as a stone crusader. They remained in painfully awkward silence for several protracted, increasingly painful moments.

“There is absolutely nothing good about this morning.” She hit back with one of her typical pithy comments. Amazingly enough, that was a good sign, as it signaled the beginning of their snarky back-and-forth.

“So,” He sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “Do you have any recollection of what happened last night?”

He took comfort in the knowledge that she was most likely just as horrifyingly embarrassed about probing the memory. She still didn’t bother to turn around to face him, but it was a calming, entirely logical thought. “If you’re going to have it recounted it just to inflate your ego, you can forget it.” Merula spat back with more than a few hints of bitterness.

Slightly taken aback, he put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Merula, I only ask because...last night, you said...” He inhaled deeply and braced himself for the jump past the point of no return. “That you...liked me.”

She scrambled back over “If you’re going to rub my face in it, then just go, please, because I won’t let you walk all over me just because I like you.”

His expression suddenly brightened. “Wait, you actually like me?”

Merula scowled at him like she always did when he asked her a stupid question for the sake of agitating her. “Yes!”

His stomach began to somersault pleasantly. “Oh, that’s...” He didn’t bother suppressing a smile that threatened to leap off his face. “That’s awesome. Because I really, really like you too, Merula. I just thought that potion made you say stuff you didn’t actually believe, and when it wore off, you would-”

_Thwack!_

Merula smacked him on the forehead.

“Ow,” He joked. “What was that for?”

“Moron,” Merula said. “You honestly thought I would change my mind about you just because of some stupid potion?” She sounded genuinely frustrated. “If anything, you’re even more attractive now that there’s only one of you and your face isn’t spinning!”

His heart rate once again shot into the stratosphere, but this time he welcomed the development. Merula actually liked him! It made him feel more than slightly special. Merula didn’t like just anyone, after all. He had to be extremely careful and, if he was to say so himself, quite charming to get to her.

Merula was back to her typical shyness as she looked like she was hunting for the correct verbiage to express herself. “I meant everything I said. I mean, I don’t know what I said, but I like you,” She furtively whispered before finding the courage to look him in the eye and speak more directly. “You are charming, sweet, smart, and really good looking,” She gave him a rare, incredibly endearing giggle. “And I would very much like to be your girlfriend.”

He practically beamed at her. “Can we cuddle again, please?”

Merula scoffed at him. “Not like I want to, or anything, but whatever will shut you up.”

Feeling a bit bolder, he asked her a more pertinent question. “Do you actually like it when I play with your hair?”

“Tsk,” She said as her face burned bright and she severed eye contact. “No, not at all. But I’ll let you do it anyway since you’re so pathetic and have so little in your life.”

"You are most definitely the cutest witch at Hogwarts. The cutest witch anywhere."


End file.
